Saturday, 6 April 2013

The 10 Commandments Are Bullshit

You know what's bullshit about them. The fact that you had to have them written down. The fact that you couldn't figure out internally not to kill people. Really Christians??
Here is why each of the commandments are or are not bullshit:

1 - No gods other than me - God, what a cunt. The creator of everything in the whole fucking universe and he's jealous of which no-evidence bullshit dogma regime we subscribe to. Right on. Also conveniently makes people think they will go to hell if they leave this no-evidence based bullshit dogma regime they were probably born and forced into by their parents.
2 - No graven images -  Well, it is kind of hard to sculpt an image of something that doesn't exist! Also, I'm pretty sure there are pictures and statues of Jesus on the cross fucking everywhere, so apparently this one isn't very important anyway.
3 - Don't take god's name in vain -  Jesus fucking Mary and Joseph, this is literally had the opposite effect. I guess that's what happens when you tell children not to do something. You don't hear people yelling, "Fucking Obama!" when they stub their toe. Apparently no one ever told the people not to take the president's name in vain.
4 - No working on the Sabbeth (Sunday) - Because apparently an all powerful god, who after building the whole fucking universe, spent 6 days on the earth and got tired. Fucking really? And why did he need Adam's rib to make eve? He made fucking everything else out of nothing, why not just conjure up some more nothing rather than taking one of Adam's fucking ribs out. Also this is apparently not a very important commandment either, because I bet there a whole bunch of Christians out there working on Sundays.
5 - Honor your Mum and Dad - This seems like a generally nice thing to do. Fucking 4 whole commandments before we got to one that's not total shit. And if god did do you the service of being born to an abusive priest rapist dad, or crack whore alcoholic mother, make sure you honor them, or god will be mad bro.
6 - Thou shalt no kill - Another generally good one. Unless.. they're gay, then fucking stone their ass. Or if your children disrespect you.. you can fucking stone those cunts too.
7 - No committing adultery -  Another good one. Unless you're god, he can do what he wants. He impregnated the Fuck out of Joseph's wife. What a shit bloke.
8 - No stealing - Legit, this is generally a bad thing to do. It's hard to believe you would go to hell for ever and ever for stealing food to feed your starving family, but hey, if you're believing all the other shit at this point.
9 - Don't bear false witness - This is by far the best commandment, no joke. It basically means, don't give false evidence or don't say you witnessed something if you didn't. Kind of ironic, given all the bullshit gospel that followed for the next 2000 years. Faith healers, and miracle witnesses alike seem to have missed this one.
10 - Don't covet your neighbors shit - Aaaaand we're back in the land of bullshit. What does this even mean? Don't want your neighbors stuff? Don't be jealous. Also, I love how he just throws "don't covet his servants" in there, like that's heaps moral and allowed. Being jealous, you're going to burn in hell forever, owning and possessing another of god's children as a slave, you're in the clear.

I hope you finally realize how nonsense the 10 commandments are, and had a good laugh in the process. Sure some of them still apply in today's society, but some of them are just ridiculousness.  You can't pick the one's you like, and say they're the moral guide. Either you accept they're THE moral guide, and abide by all of them, or abandon their value and form your own morality. If some of your morality happens to cross with some of the 10 commandments morality, that's allowed. But you can't cherry pick the ultimate word of god, and still call whatever you have left the ultimate word of god.
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